Friday, 09 July 2010
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More Than Enough...
I've had more than enough of my parents, I really hate everything they do or say to me.
Mum always guilt's me into doing things to help her out, then when I ask her to drop me around the corner at a friends, or up the road so i can go out and have a few drinks she says she can't be bothered and can't someone else do it.
I had to walk to my friends the other night because she cracked it and said i should walk because i had to ask her twice to take me, i only asked again so i wouldn't be late, but she decided she wanted to eat dinner and made me sit at the table with everyone when i wasn't going to anymore because of the way her and dad treat me by yelling at me and calling me names, when i wont do what they want, i do admit i yell back at them but i don't want to just sit back and put up with their crap anymore.
After dinner i washed some of the dishes and cleaned the kitchen but she decided she was going to wash all the pots and make me wait, she sent me nasty messages that night after i told her to get stuffed when she rudely told me to walk if i didn't want to wait, when i had already asked her to take me before a certain time... but because the day before my friend had to drop her computer over and i made her wait 10mins she decided to do the same to me, does that sound childish of her?
I had several difficult years from 15-21 so I'm really just getting a hold of things now. My mum was never emotionally there for me, she thought if she gave me too much attention, like sitting with me for 1/2 an hour a day would make things worse, all i needed was a hug and to be reassured that everything was going to be ok, but she couldn't do that, she is a nurse and works with adolescents in a psych ward, it does not make sense to me.
As for my father, he is a nasty person with anger issues but he wont admit it, i don't even consider him my father anymore, who needs someone like that in their life?
Saturday, 08 May 2010
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Hmmm...Mothers day
It's no wonder... I'm going back to my old ways, I get up early to give mum her mothers day present and what do I get in return... another fcking lecture about how I need to get into a routine... well maybe if I could find a second job i would but seeing as there is no work around whats the point in being up early every morning??? really, why the hell would I bother getting up at 7,8 or 9am for nothing? I guess i would get more study in but there is only so much I can do each day.
Got another tatt yesterday with a friend, didn't go out that night, strange not being at work or going out on a Saturday but I really didn't feel like going out anywhere, probably doesn't help that I'm sick.
so yes... Happy Mothers Day... -
Back to my old ways...
Just beginning to go back to my old ways of comparing my body to other peoples and obsessing over my BMI, I was really miserable back then and I can't go back to how I was and I definitely don't want to go back into hospital.
I do need to get back to my normal weight at 55kgs. I've been 60kgs for way too long and it's now time for things to change!
If I'm going to eat something unhealthy, I need to only eat 1/2, not the whole meal.
If it's healthy that is fine, but I really need to get back on track with it all, because I've had it and I need to fit back into my size 8 jeans!!!
Sunday, 28 February 2010
Ko Samui
Ko Samui
Ko Samui
Ko Samui
imnotyourdoll
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- Name: imnotyourdoll
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 8/4/2009
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